Fighting the “Some Day My Prince Will Come” Mentality

Valentine’s Day often gets a bad rap from “all the single ladies” and single men. I agree, corporate America’s trashy plastic trinkets and marketing make it rough for all of us, but why pass up a day to let the people in your life know how much you LOVE them?

Young girls are programmed early to “wait for their prince”. Its the princess complex. The reality of the wait is that it is actually a search. A desperate search leading to a bunch of jerks and poisoned apples followed by heartache. Girls often become bitter and jaded when Mr. Perfect doesn’t show up on their schedule.

Why settle on the first “suitor” that comes your way and miss finding out who you truly are. If young women would only wait long enough to learn their limits, those values you are unwilling to alter for someone else. You’re going to find out eventually who you are and what you want. Rushing LOVE lands you in a union in which you find yourself unfulfilled.

You can’t hurry love
No you just have to wait
She said, “Love don’t come easy”
Its a game of give and take.

We are meant to change and to grow. To learn about our wonderful selves more each year. As I get older, I realize more and more who I am. I know myself more now than in my teens, where I thought I knew what I wanted. I tried so desperately to fit into the mold I thought everyone expected of me. Women are naturally wired to nurture others needs and wants before themselves.

I remember feeling that I had to be friends with everyone in my high school. In college, I felt I needed to pursue a dream everyone had been telling me I should for ten years. Then a few years after my graduation from college, in a moment of grace, I realized what I truly want from life.

In that realization, came a new found Love and Appreciation for me. Just me. I am not speaking of the egotistical selfish love that so many I have known possess. Just pure Acceptance. Unconditional love. Finally, what I’m feeling is Joy.

Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.  – Marianne Williamson

Recognize how good you really are… already. After I stopped compromising myself for others needs, I no longer beat myself up for not being who they wanted.
I’m just me, and that’s okay.
No. Its great!

For the last couple years, I watched my dearest girl friends pair off with the men of their dreams, not so sure about all this marriage stuff myself. They got the “good guys”. I had relationships, but never wanted them to go any further. How did my friends just know this guy was right for them? I remember seeing this and wanting whoever he was so badly to come for me, too, often pretending what I had was what I wanted.

And then he came. My long awaited “prince” came (back) into my life. We certainly could have had something before, considering I’ve known him since I was a seven year old girl on the playground, but it wasn’t until I knew myself truly that he came. Time and our journey wouldn’t allow it. He waited until I was truly ready for this. When I knew myself, my heart was truly open, and that’s when it happened. And I knew, it was well worth the wait.

Now that I am closing in on thirty, I no longer make time for things that don’t bring me joy, pretending to be friends with people who don’t share my values, or living the life so-and-so thinks I should. Of course, there are bills to pay and everyday things I may not love doing (like putting the fitted sheet on a bed) that I do because that’s what every one does. But now I am more conscious of spending my time with people I want to have near me, doing kind things for others, and doing what I love.

Above all.
Love yourself.
Its okay to, and you should.
Be true to yourself.
In order to Love someone else to your fullest, you must first Love yourself. When you do, so much love will come back to you. Others will see the joy in your eyes and will be drawn to it.

Women, we must not allow ourselves to fall into that helpless princess role. We must fight to find the true woman inside and let her be empowered with self love. Why do we think we have to wait for rescue from those evil step mothers and witches that cause us to forget how wonderful we are? Don’t wait for rescue. Save yourself!

Sending you love today, and everyday… it is important.

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